It was more like leaning against my filthy car in a grocery store parking lot, desperately chugging sugar syrup crap water. And then waiting for my headache to subside.-- mister pantsI think that's what they should show in their commercials.
this little multiple find and replace tool just saved me hours of ctrl-h, enter, tab, enter, ctrl-s, ctrl-o, enter, ctrl-h... hell.
yay!
300 images from 1800 sites.
proves you really cant get terribly creative when making an arrow icon.
part four of the super mario tradgedy is available... only one more part to finish the story (first three parts previously discussed).
since im in work-rant mode:
what makes you believe, really believe, that two quotes back to back makes for a good newsletter article?
"volunteer said: its really fulfilling to volunteer. client said: i got a lot of help that helped us out a lot."
sorry, does not cut it.
no.
give it back to me when youve passed 9th grade english class.
one of my coworkers is sitting in her office on the other side of the building and singing stand by me at the top of her lungs and i cannot get my speakers to drown her out without everyone in the office knowing im not listening to worship music and i want to ring her neck to get her to PLEASE SHUT UP.
i wonder if i could leave the office early?
hey, guess what?
this internet thing is CHOCK FULL of stuff like devotionals and articles and crap.
wouldnt it be great if we just took some of it and plopped it into our newsletter and then mailed it to john q public? we would look so great and smart and knowledgeable.
what do you mean, permission? of course we dont need to get permission - we would give appropriate copyright information, of course. at least use that little c thingy - you know, with the circle?
and fer cryin' out loud - its on the internet! its pretty much asking to be republished!
sigh.
one step forward, fourteen steps back.
how, exactly, does 'every breath you take' by the police get classified as adult alternative?
nearing the end of a brief phone conversation...
them: okay, i appreciate it.
me: youre welcome.
them: thank you.
whats up with that?
am i expected to give another 'youre welcome'?
was i incorrect to assume their 'i appreciate it' was synonymous with 'thanks'?
this happens with about 60% of all phone calls i answer at work, and it drives me batty.
someone brought nutella in to the office so those sad nutella virgins could pop their hazelnut cherries.
the smell throws me onto a parisian street corner in 1998. there was a crepe stand half a block from the hostel, and we visited it upwards of three times a day. im sure i tried any and every flavor (even grand marnier; took me only two bites to realize it was alcohol), but my favorite by far were the nutella crepes.
now i need to make some dessert crepes... its been too long.
im making a mix cd for the mefi swap.
and, like last time i participated, i want to make this mix available to my faithful readers. all three of you.
if you are interested in getting a mix cd all the way from the frozen north of alaska, drop me an email with your address. i will only use your personal information for watching you undress at night mailing this one cd.
ill need to know by... oh, i dont know... lets say next friday.
consider this something incredibly witty.
im chewing on my spectacles ear piece right now.
all for lynne.
i have a peeling paint photo album up, using the most wonderful photostack.
please, don't let the remains of any friendship be preserved solely in Angry Letters.
today is, apparently, Administrative Professional's Day, or Assistant's Day, or Secretary's Day, or whatever other politically correct term you want to give it.
and while my duties at the office are highly varied and specialized and worshiped, my title is still administrative assistant.
my day thus far has included ghirardelli chocolate squares, a fun balloon, doughnuts from the donut shoppe, and teeny tiny potted tete-a-tete daffodils.
i am lavendar frost: pms 15-3507
You are extremely bright and may become bored if you are not stimulated or surrounded by people who can keep up with your keen intellect.
find your pantone birthday color.
[via]
make your own creepy crawly bugs with a flash insect shop.
and other fun and interactive animations, like the awesome bug orgy screensaver that im tempted to install on the boss's computer. must. resist.
on saturday i bought a complete living room set from salvation army on a whim. those that know me will understand these actions as completely uncharacteristic: i... bought... on a whim. just doesnt happen with me.
i really liked the sturdy wood frames, and was able to get the whole set for cheaper than they were asking. i got b to swing by in order to give his opinion on their awesomeness and help load them into the truck.
a couch, loveseat, chair, ottoman, and a side table that is ugly as hell but b liked so we got anyway. they look as though they belong in a ski lodge, occupied by people drinking hot cocoa.
which reminds me: i need to buy hot cocoa.
after we got the god-awfully-heavy ugly green couch out the doors and into the truck, pulling many muscles and emptying many sweat glands in the process, the new arrangement felt exactly like home. the dog didnt even freak out like she did when we got the green couch. it was a sign from the most high that this was how our living room was supposed to be.
lacey did manage to claim the ottoman as her personal throne and only left it to bring up her favorite toys, rewarding them by sharing her perfect throne - something she wouldnt even do with me.
and i need to recover it. baaaadly. perhaps a moss green of sorts. or a... slate blue. the possibilities are endless.
its snowing.
its the middle of april.
last week we had record highs in the mid-50s.
right now, snow is falling.
i woke up angry.
hurt and angry.
and no matter
how many times
i tell myself:
just a dream
just a dream,
it feels real
i cant believe
he did that
to me.
my entire family is in anchorage this weekend.
and now im kinda wishing i was too.
in spite of my father also being in anchorage.
being around my brothers and my mom soothes me.
rejuvinates me.
reminds me that im not alone in grieving melissa.
reminds me that other hearts are broken.
reminds me that im not alone.
the day i wear a skirt, i will have to crawl around on the floor underneath peoples desks fixing computers.
never fails.
isnt it wonderful how a myterious playlist file in the middle of your 800+ mp3s labeled only 'valette' can throw you back into the middle of summer 2000, the summer of your summer-long-and-then-some bout of depression, and you think, life may have been bad but at least the music rocked, yet at the back of your mind you wonder how easily you could slip back into another depression of that magnitude and whether theis one playlist would be the catalyst to do just that?
(my mp3 collection has been found.
praise be to our eternal False Prophet™!)
i apparently look like shania twain, charlize theron, and marilyn monroe - see for yourself (looks like the session expired... oh well).
[via]
subway gave me a free cookie today.
almost made up for the 20 minutes wait caused by the one and only employee working.
why might there be an empty condom wrapper on the floor in my office?
hmmm?
if you were a few cd-rws that b used to backup my entire mp3 collection, you should totally jump up and down screaming, 'over here! we are over here!'
eating a brownberry seasoned crouton with a large slice of green bell pepper (one not very ripe because, lets face it, this is spring time in alaska) tastes just like roasted pumpkin seeds.
fo' real.
i just paid my phone bill last night and had to do a double take at the amount due.
not that its too high; in fact it was just the opposite.
it appears that the phone company gave us a $36 internet discount, rendering our cable modem internet access completely and utterly free.
free.
yay!
i hope this is just one of those new things theyre doing from now until eternity.
if you were online right now, and if i were online right now, you could totally talk to me and brighten my day.
if i had an icq number of 21587990.
or an aim username of rhapsodie00.
or a yahoo! username of rhapsodie_hongroise.
or a msn email of valettem@hotmail.com.
you know, if you wanted.
a few weeks ago, pandagon posted a sort of blogging mad-lib, if you will, that was mildly amusing. but the comments brought it into the oh-yes-i-just-laughed-aloud realm:
Whiny-toned comment referring to previous, unrelated topic showing how the poster of this topic is also a hypocrite sometimes, even though it doesn't really show that at all.
Obscenities. CAPITAL LETTERS. Haiku.
if you have had any experience with any post with more than ten commenters, you will recognize at least a handfull of these comments.
spike is a collaboratative clipboard application. faster and cooler looking than email, im going to have to implement this in the office with at least one other staff memeber to try it out.
flag certain forbidden words with this handy-dandy bookmarklet and "...see at a glance who deserves your mockery."
in a suprising turn of events, the post i made back in january about a cotton candy autopsy is still receiving comments from people ive never heard of and replies from the comic author about the status of the comic.
while it could be worse, why oh why would you insist on using Arial to send out a letter to all the churches on our organization letterhead? especially when we have an 'official' organization font?
as the boss, the executive director, you should be ashamed of yourself.
i really want to get a fetching tag for lacey, but dont know what to put on it.
attention slut?
sweet pea?
only child?
spoiled rotten?
and also the $30 pricetag is a bit much.
im sure ill be over it by tomorrow.
and.
i got my first sun burn of the season.
my first of many, many to come.
i had to pull out the aloe vera.
this is a very good sign of summer.
the garage sale was a much bigger success than i had envisioned. i managed to walk away with over $375 hold card cash when i had expected about $100. my brother and his wife more than quadrupled what they had expected.
yay!
now im totally prepared to hit some garage sales next weekend and spend all my hard-earned money.
problem solving flowchart
will you catch hell? > no > shit-can it > no problem
drawing fun dhtml boxes
at 2.30 this afternoon the boss realized, 'hey - were a christian organization, right? so why are we open on good friday?' a lot of forehead slapping ensued as staff memebers opened personell policies and saw that we were supposed to have today off as a paid holiday.
d'oh.
so we got sent home early. i stole my husbands truck and hauled a bunch of heavy crap over to my brothers house for our garage sale tomorrow.
oh, i didnt mention that here. well:
** MOVING SALE TOMORROW! 9a - 4p
** 1066 EVERGREEN (in fairbanks, you nimwits)
** BUY MY CRAP!
anyway, i just got home from all the setting up. that is some hard work, yo.
my feet and my hips hurt like an old woman and i feel extra dirty.
and not in a good way.
i havent done a meme in quite a while, so i was going to do these 23 questions but got halfway through it and rememered why i didnt do questionaire-type memes any more.
how you remind me of someday
two nickleback songs, how you remind me and someday, mixed into one mp3: one from the right speaker and one from the left.
(update: try this one if the first link isnt working for you)
and
every song on the white album gets its own web layout. ob-la-di, ob-la-da is missing a layout... i feel compelled to do something about that.
[via]
um, hi.
last-minute brilliant creative brainstorming with no prior notice or preparation time?
no.
thanks.
no.
tired of waiting for your site to ping the long list of must-ping-sites? try using blog service pinger - pings as many or as few as you want. and was much faster than when mt pings them for me.
and: the memespread project - just for kicks.
MoCoLoco is a blog (they call themselves a web magazine) about modern contemporary design and architecture. i have to have one of everything they list. oh yes.
foldershare lets you create your own p2p network - share files, use it like a vpn, whatever. windows only. looks fun.
amazon.com has a secret sex shop (i dont have to mention that its probably nsfw, right?).
i love how all the vibrators are pictured with daisys.
T is for trivia, G is for grouch.
its a sesame street trivia game!
and its pretty hard, too. im a bit embarassed at how bad i did - the questions like 'which muppet was created to look like person B?' is impossible to answer if you dont know who person B is. ya know?
[via]
so im being barricaded in my office this morning.
im being made to WORK.
not that i have to with my door closed and a curtain over my window.
but you know.
its weird.
no one is allowed to talk to me until after 11.30.
i just might take this opportunity to do some work.
sushi cake - timely, since i made sushi rolls this weekend.
incidentally, new sagaya is the best place in alaska to buy fish for sushi.
speaking of math:
x e-quals neg-a-tive b
plus or minus the squaaaare root
of b squared minus fouuur a c
all ov-er twooo a
sung to the tune of pop! goes the weasel.
how my algebra teacher taught us the quadratic equation.
3:10 am
plus not turning my alarm on
equals
8:07 am
math is too hard on this little sleep.
typophile has all sorts of typeface goodies to play with and learn from and collaborate on.
[via]
something so simple as reinstalling trillian.
easy-peasy, right?
quick download (thanks forever go to broadband).
quick installation.
set everything to 'connect at start up'.
next. next. next. okay. connect.
do you understand?
can you even?
something so simple, and i burst into tears.
the_mindmaster.
its melissa, you see.
yes, dear God, yes! i want her to see my online status. i want to see her online. i want to chat with her monosylabic responses. i want her to ignore me for twenty minute stretches where she goes into the other room to watch a movie. i want her to bitch and moan about whatever loser boyfriend she has this week.
do i want her back?
what a stupid question.
yet the answer still does not make any difference.
whats the percentage of people, you think, involved in a long-term relationship with someone who has a comperable libido to their own?
speak n spell emulator.
ahh... brings back memories. of one long road trip home from anchorage in the middle of the night, in particular.
my speak n spell's batteries were near the end of their life - and no surprise since i had played with the thing for the four hour trip to anchorage, and all during the weekend in anchorage.
the low batteries caused the speak n spell man to slur his words at first, and then later the words on screen an spoken no longer resembled english. my wonderful brother (not that one) convinced me that aliens were trying to communicate to me through my speak n spell.
he had me so frightened as he 'interpreted' the alien-speak: their home planet had a shortage of little girls, and they had come to take me back with them. they liked to suck brains from human skulls, and little girl brains were so sweet and tender.
i have never let the batteries run down that low on any toy since.
this weeks a day in the life features photographer margaret fitzpatrick from antarctica. the pictures are great. go look at them.
the only thing i got duped by yesterday is googles new gmail.
i was 98% sure it was a hoax.
and its not.
heres a screenshot.
open mouth.
insert foot.
things i miss from my vacation:
for those of you not keeping track at home, steveo is getting elopified, jr is turning into steveo, homestar runner has pudding, mezzoblue is stop design and vice versa.
theres some more thorough lists at waxy.org and urgo.com.
ha ha.
heh.
and i can be proud that i havent been fooled by one yet this year.
I'm a photographer based out of Anchorage, Alaska. I've recently become a wife, a stepmother, and a homeowner. Life is pretty awesome. You can email me anytime. Learn more...
In a meeting. "We only have a million dollars." I need coffee. 1 hour ago
The moon is gorgeous over the inlet this morning. 2 hours ago
Olive's dream sounds like a good one. 4 hours ago
Up before 6 with gym plans, but shin splints say no. So now I'm just up. And hungry. 4 hours ago
OMG http://t.co/ykr0N7WA 12 hours ago
