I Sometimes Imagine Against My Will
March 10, 2009
- Being involved in a multi-car pileup, my body twisted and broken, trapped in my seat as I die, loved ones having to make funeral arrangements.
- Ghosts grabbing my wrists and ankles as I walk past the back hallway in my parents' basement.
- Crossing the street and being hit by a car.
- Robbers standing outside my bedroom door at 3am holding baseball bats.
- The doctor telling me no, sorry, I'll never be able to have children.
- Melissa's last moments.
- Jumping off a tall bridge, feeling the wind rush through my hair and my stomach in my throat.
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True story:
Last night, whilst out for our evening stroll, I asked my wife "So, let's say an asteroid were to hit the planet, sending out a blast wave of vaporized rock thousands of degrees in temperature, ensuring the death of all life on the planet. Would you willingly face obliteration by being cooked alive by the searing blast or would you rather take things into your own hands, so to speak?"
She looked at me for a few strides and told me I was a horribly maudlin person for even thinking about such things.
There's nothing wrong with contemplating our collective tenuous grasp of existence. It makes us enjoy the moments we do have all the more.
I would face it, no doubt. I couldn't kill myself knowing there was still some possibility, no matter how remote, that I might survive. I saw that Sliders episode.
When she says things like that, I swell with geeky pride.
This breaks my heart. I am thinking about you today. Please do the same for me.
me, too! my most repeated death knell would be the one where i'm on a bridge in my car and the bridge collapses. (shiver) yuck-oh-rama. and the girls are in the back. which one do i save?... bummer on a stick.
Yup, me too... I have this horrid thoughts as well. Got to admit, I'd rather fight it, and live on.
mine is that i have my head laying on the table while writing and my ink pen slides across the paper and pokes into my eye.
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