:|: 23apr01 : sperm baby

I was pregnant and in labor in the hospital. When I gave birth, I didn't feel any pain. I was handed the baby, a girl, and immediately brought it to my breast in order to feed her. However, she didn't want to take my nipple, and I was disturbed. My baby then turned into a six inch long white sperm. It wiggled so much that I couldn't hold onto it and it got away. Its movements reminded me of a water eel. I tried to catch my little sperm, but it kept squirming out of my grasp. I called out to it like I was trying to gat a dog to come to me.

I chased it all over the room and under my bed. The bed had no linens on it, and the mattress overhung the box spring by a few inches, and as I crawled out from under the bed, my head caught the mattress and pulled it off the box spring on top of me. I was still calling to my little sperm, but this time it came and was tangling itself in my hair. This was disconcerting, and I was becoming claustrophobic under the mattress, flailing about.

:|: 21apr01 : demon - feces

B and I were at a social gathering similar to a poker tournament. There were two large circular tables with multiple players at each - they were collecting chips and playing for prizes, not money. B was sitting at one of the tables and winning a lot of chips while I was standing off to the side observing. I catch a glance of an old high school classmate, Briar, sitting across the table from where I am standing. I try my best to not catch her attention, though my efforts fail and she looks right at me. She gets up and goes outside, taking her chair with her. She props the door open with it, then comes back inside dragging it behind her, glaring at me.

Then I and her are in a tiny room with two wooden bunks - reminded me of a small summer camp bunk house - arguing about putting another bunk in the room. I ended up nailing another bunk in between the existing two, leaving about only six inches of headroom.

Then I was back in the game room. A bunch of players had left, so the two tables had to combine into one. B moved to the other table and took the chips of some player who left; I jokingly chastised him about stealing. The gentleman in charge of the game came over and told B that he had enough chips to win a radio. He went over to the pile of prizes and turned the radio boom box on. I went over and tried to find a different station, but there were only 3 stations: one was hard rock and the other two were playing the same Sarah McLaughlin song.

I turned around from fiddling with the radio and the room was empty - everyone had vanished. This freaked me out. I was walking backwards, surveying the room, and bumped into a refrigerator. I turned to look at it: the door was wide open and overflowing with worms and maggots. I turned away disgusted, and there was a man standing directly behind me - close enough to startle me. I immediately got the impression that this individual was a demon. He also had worms and maggots overflowing his mouth. I was scared of him.

He grabbed my wrist so tight it hurt and pulled me outside. I noticed that we were in the deep woods and there was no sign of life anywhere. A full size pickup drove into the yard and stopped when I noticed it had no driver. The demon informed me that he is going to fill the truck with cement and drive it up my butt, pull it out 3/4 of the way, and ram it back in again and again. He then dragged me over to a spot where wet cement covered the ground and threw me into the middle of it. Another individual appeared - I didn't have the feeling that he was a demon. He pulled his pants down to his knees and defecated on the cement around me. I lied there disgusted and scared. The demon creature then yanked me and threw me into a wheelbarrow filled with the cement, this time telling me he would shove a stick in my anus. I was so scared the entire time and struggled to free myself from his grasp.

:|: 11apr01 : van accident

There was a big group of us in Anchorage - only it didn't look/feel like Anchorage. Our group - it kind of felt like a youth trip with a chaperone - had two vehicles: a small four-door car (I don't remember seeing it, but it reminded me of Damon and Dana's car) and a huge 14-passenger van (light gray). We were all getting ready to drive home (to Homer). The chaperone didn't like driving the van, so she (I never saw her, but knew she was female) crammed as many people into her small car as possible and left, leaving only two to ride in the van - myself and another girl. I remember asking the other girl why she didn't just use the van... we would all fit and it would cut down on gas. The girl didn't know.

So the girl and I got into the van to drive home - then the girl turned into Melissa. I decided to let her drive since she loves driving home from Anchorage. We were driving along having a great time when we came to a straight stretch on the road - none of the surroundings were familiar even though I know the drive down from Anchorage like the back of my hand. I look up to the road and see a bunch of cars coming toward us in the other lane, and one big dark van coming towards us in our lane. We didn't have enough time to scream, and I wanted to grab the wheel to yank the van off of the road but it was too late. Melissa said quite calmly, "I'm going to die."

We had a head-on collision with this other van, most of the damage focusing on the driver's side. I remember the wreckage being an unrecognizable gray heap of metal, and Melissa was stuck in her seat while I crawled out easily. I tried pulling on her seat but it wouldn't come out of the wreckage either. She had blood all over her head from hitting the window. The guy driving the other van got out of his van - which was far less damaged - and started asking how she was. He helped me pull out the car seat with Melissa in it, but his arm hurt like heck. I called 911 on the cell phone and the operator was obviously annoyed to be at work that day. I said, "We just had a head-on about two miles..." She interrupted with, "What city, ma'am?" I told her, "Anchorage," and she transferred me to a really nice guy in anchorage.

I told him what happened and he asked if everyone was ok. I turned around and Melissa had regained consciousness. She looked down and there was a huge gash in her side and her intestines were falling out. She panicked. I grabbed a pillow to stop the bleeding and to stop Melissa from playing with her intestines in her hysteria. I told him that my sister was badly hurt but I was using a pillow to stop some of the bleeding and the other guy had probably dislocated his shoulder. The guy said he'd send someone out as soon as possible. I remember then calling mom and she had made it all the way back to Homer again, but she said she'd turn around and come back to anchorage. The medics arrived very quickly, including the guy I talked to on the phone.

Then we were all in a chemistry lab. All of the other medics and cops goofed off in the lab while the guy I talked to on the phone desperately worked. No one worked directly on Melissa yet, but I felt that this one guy was trying to help. Right beside me this big plastic chamber thing started to inflate. I thought they were going to put Melissa in it, but still she was left untouched. One medic climbed into a fume hood to take a nap, and another guy started drinking chemicals. Melissa was getting worse and I was getting super angry that no one even cared about her. Finally the same guy I talked to on the phone put her on a bench and did a few things to her including put her to sleep. She looked so peaceful. He held a leather bag of moms, and started asking me about the things in them. I think I remember wrapping Melissa up in it earlier. But when he held it, it is about the size of his hand. He points to the first item and I tell him its toothpaste. He says, "Ahh - I like that brand." I tell him that it's my mom's bag for emergencies. He told me that they would take Melissa to the hospital and she was going to be okay. I thanked him with all my heart and cried on his shoulder.

:|: 05apr01 : school hallway

I was in an institution - like a school - and was in a hall. I was standing in line for ballet class, when I turned to go in the opposite direction. I stopped in a secluded section of the hall and leaned up against some lockers ... there were the really skinny tall ones (like three inches wide and eight feet tall) and the little square cubbyholes. I heard two guys (janitors) talking really clearly - I remember understanding them but I cannot recall all what they said. I do know one phrase was something like, "watch out Charlie, she's found us." Problem is, I couldn't see them nor could I find them.

I looked in one super skinny locker and saw nothing - it was empty. I looked in the other locker and saw a really squished face - but the me in the dream didn't notice. However, me the dreamer told me in the dream to run - I must have been aware it was a dream. I crouched down with one leg under me and the other stretched out and looked under the lockers. Nothing. The voices were getting more hostile and I ran.

I had a phone receiver in my hand and I ran with it - it had a super long cord. I ran until I saw my husband (which was not B) and I said a few short things on the way by. He didn't notice the phone or the way the chord wound around everything. I ran almost all the way out the door expecting him to follow me (the doors were like the front doors at the DMV: two sets of glass doors) - I got almost out the second set when the phone line drew taught and he reminded me that he couldn't go out there. It was quite logical, and I couldn't realize I had forgotten that he couldn't go out there. So I came back in.

Here, I changed characters. There were now three people standing in the entryway, and me the dream was no longer his wife, though his wife was still there. I unhooked the receiver from the line so he wouldn't see it: he was a cop and the building we were in was the police station. He and his wife walked behind the front desk of the department, and I stuck back a bit then ran with the phone receiver to him and told him that it was found in the hallway as is. It had some packing tape on it with the number 41 written with black ink. Then I stood and observed him. He was working on some medical files, and his wife (me again) said, "oh he draws them almost so real looking", speaking about a heart, when in fact it looked like something I could draw in ms paint: chunky and bright red. He was on the computer drawing this.

:|: 05apr01 : cleaning

I was in charge of cleaning this person's house while they were gone, and I had recruited some old high school friends to help me (Pam and Amanda), and Amanda told me that Julie said she'd help and Cindy (our old youth pastors wife) would too. We were all sitting in bleachers (outside, I think) and Amanda was super engrossed in something she was doing and Pam was nowhere to be found. I had to tell them that the person who hired me wasn't home so we couldn't go do it. I told Julie the same thing, and then sat a few rows back to watch (football game maybe?) - but I was watching the activity taking place in the stands, not on the field/court. I saw Julie and Cindy get up and leave, then Amanda, and then saw Pam go by too. I followed, interested in what they were doing, and they had gotten together to do the job anyway.

But the job was no longer cleaning - it was to put on a children's carnival. And I was supposed to be in charge, but no one asked me to even come to the meeting. I was quite upset, but let it pass. We started setting up in this huge house, and one night they took all of the kids down into a huge field. I awoke from bed and saw them all running down there. I followed and intercepted my mom and some other kids on their way back. I asked her what was going on, and she said that there had been an important meeting about the carnival - she was surprised I wasn't there. I told her to stay right there and wait for the others. I remember yelling 'stop' to everyone else when they got close and I made them sit down and listen to me. I was very angry, and was ranting and raving about being excluded when I was supposed to be in charge. We were in a big tent and they were sitting at its edges with me pacing in the center. They were all just smiling, almost humoring me - not taking me serious.

:|: 05apr01 : damons nintendo

I was at my brother's house playing Nintendo and was getting super frustrated with it when I accidentally erased one of his saved games, then did it on purpose three more times. He came home and I told him that there was a glitch in the system and all his saved games were gone. He believed me.



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