A group of people and I are driving really fast down the road on motorcycles. I take off my headband so I didn’t lose it - I am not wearing a helmet. I was looking for the spot to place my extra pen, but I couldn’t find it. I decided to toss it onto the seat behind me. But because I was driving the motorcycle at such high speeds, I couldn’t risk taking my eyes off the road for too long. I decide to glance over my shoulder and toss the pen; it lands nice and safely on the back bench seat.
We arrive at a huge mansion. We were invited, so we go in even though no one is currently there. The place is much messier than one would expect a mansion to be, and there are tarps over a few items as though it were being prepared for some sort of renovation. We all get really excited about staying here and split into groups to scope out the place. I need to urinate, so I set off in search of a toilet.
The bathroom I find is huge; behind a large curtain is a large hot tub. It has no water in it, but is covered by a dark brown foam thing. Another girl comes in to inspect the large bathroom and I show her the hot tub. She jumps onto the brown thing before I can warn her that there is no water in it. The brown foam is cushy enough so as to not hurt her tailbone.
I wanted her to leave so that I could use the toilet, but at that moment we heard outside a large rumbling, as though a semi truck were driving through the room we stood in. I look out the window and see what appears to be a monster truck driving into the parking lot. It was a vibrant blue with huge black tires. It was so large that as it pulled up the building to park, the driver's and passenger's heads were level (perhaps a bit above) the third story window. Both of the men had very dark hair. The passenger had a shaggy beard and was overweight.
As I saw theses two figures, I got down on my hands and knees and crawled toward the window. I wanted to position myself just under the windowsill so that the two men would not see me. But it was too late. The passenger stared at me and sneered. There was hate in his eyes; I was terribly frightened.
The girl and I felt prisoners in the bathroom that now felt so small; we were unable to leave the room. After a few moments of the men sitting in the truck, the driver revved the engine quite hard. He held down the gas for well over a half hour. The house shook violently and the sound was near deafening.
I was able to join the rest of the group in another room. I rushed to the window where two of the boys were standing agape. I saw the rushing wind coming from the large trucks exhaust and knew what was to happen next. A small black car that was parked on the other side of the parking lot and directly behind the large truck was pushed by the exhaust to the right. It slammed into a large fence and crumbled like a piece of paper.
My red car was sitting a few spaces to the left of this now crushed black car, and I could see it shaking and the tires starting to come off the ground. I didn’t know who these two men were, or why they were doing this. But I did know that if they kept it up any longer, my car would look just like the black car.
Melissa and I were in a large room filled with people - we were probably in our mid-teens. Our entire extended family was also there, but we made a point to avoid them as much as possible. Our dad cornered us and told us to sit at a table way up front. We wanted to sit with our friends at a back table off to the side, but he demanded we sit with the family.
Once sitting at the proper table, my grandpa stood up and talked a long time about all of his and grandmas many travels. He was glad everyone could come to their anniversary party.
At this moment he began the slideshow. The screen was huge as we were sitting in the very front. All of the slides were pictures of rocks, hills, caves, and rocks. He described in detail every slide - this rock is named this and that rock is blah blah blah. Melissa and I looked at each other and groaned. We slouched very low in our chairs. The slideshow lasted over three hours, and we had to sit way up front paying attention the entire time.
I was at the church. Tina was standing on the stage with her brother. Both of them were standing still and looking at me. Pam was standing next to me, staring intently, and said very slowly that she wanted to leave with me.
Melissa and I were walking away from someone with whom we just had a conversation. This person asked to see my frog tattoo because it was peeking from under my tank top.
I lifted up my black tank and showed this person my tattoo. I glanced at Melissa's back and didn't see any tattoo. I was a little worried that I was covering part of the frog, so I pulled at the fabric, rearranged it, tried to look at my back, and kept asking the person if they could see it. The person didn’t answer, and Melissa looked on.
For a few minutes after waking it didn’t dawn on me that Melissa is the one with the tattoo on her lower back; mine is on my shoulder.
I am walking through the large aisles of a concrete warehouse. I open one door and walk into Melissa’s bedroom. Lying on the floor by the waterbed is my friend Abi and her husband. They are under blankets as though they were falling asleep; the light is on in the room.
Abi sits up and tells me how it’s terrible that the warehouse people don’t let them sleep in or stay in the room during the afternoons. She says that people staying in the other rooms are allowed to, just not her.
I step out of the doorway to look down the hallway at the other rooms of which she speaks. I see the door to my parents’ bedroom and feel guilty because that is the room I am staying in. I don’t want Abi to know that I have one of the more favorable rooms.
Stepping back into the room, Melissa is lying where Abi was. She is naked. The blankets are covering her from the waist down, and I can only see her white back because she is in a contorted position.
I am standing really close to her and Abi's husband and then lie down to talk to Melissa. I bump my foot against something. I look under the blankets and see that I have bumped a sleeping baby - Abi's baby. I also see a dog sleeping under the blankets.
B and I are on a bed making out heavily; we are rolling around and end up with me on top. I sit up and remove one of my tops very seductively, making sure he is watching. Underneath two more tops I am wearing a Hanes men’s wife beater tank; I am sure it is B's tank. The tank is slightly see-though, and I am not wearing a bra.
I grab his penis and notice that some of the monterey jack cheese from the other night’s dinner had dried in rings around his penis. I pull up the tank I am wearing to reveal the undersides of my breasts but no more. B reaches out to touch my breasts, but I don’t let him.
I scoot back, lean down, and start sucking on his penis to remove all of the dried cheese. It was very arousing.
A friend and I are running up a hill to prevent some disastrous evil. On our left was the edge of a cliff that led straight down to the ocean. The sky was a beautiful blue. We soon notice that a cockroach is chasing us to prevent us from making it to the top of the hill. I turn around and kick the cockroach off the cliff.
At the top of the hill is a large castle-like building. We run into the building and see that it is full of children. We walk down a hallway and see that some rooms look like classrooms.
Standing in one such room, I see Kristin Vantrease - a girl I used to baby-sit. She turns to me and tells me in earnest to get out of the building. I am wearing a bed sheet as a cape; I am invincible.
I was looking inside of a small car and saw Pam sitting in the driver's seat. The car was not moving, but I knew that it would be soon. She was talking to the person in the passenger's seat. I could not see that person, but I knew that it was I. Pam was laughing.
All of B's coworkers were in the living room of our apartment; there were about four or five of them. They were sprawled out on the couch and floor, talking, laughing, and having a good time. I was going back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, bringing the guys drinks and snacks. Every single one of them was in their work uniform. I knew that they were killing time before they had to be at work. I only had a half hour before I needed to be at work, and I really wanted them to leave. But I never asked them to go.
The entire extended family was at my parents’ house for dinner. I was still young enough to be living at home. We were all in my parents’ basement - it was set up just like it was when the family was still living there. I was sprawled out in my favorite orange chair and had it tilted far forward. Dad and grandpa decided to pray over the meal; they stood up to my right by dads chair and faced out the windows. Dad glared at me; he wanted me to stand, but I didn’t want to.
During prayer I rocked the chair back and forth as quietly as I could, but the chair ended up hitting the wall pretty loudly. I tried hopping the recliner forward to get it away from the wall - this made a much louder noise.
After prayer, dad was mad at me. I turned to him in the middle of the living room and began yelling at him. I told him every one of his faults and how much I despised him. I vented for quite a while.
Later, I found him in the unfinished upstairs. The walls, ceilings, and floors were still covered in plywood. He was standing in the middle of what would become the living room and was tinkering with some tool. I went up to him as he was standing up straight. I leaned in close to his face and whispered through firmly clenched teeth, "I hate you." I turned and walked into what was my and Melissa’s room.
Inside the room, it was set up as it currently is: empty but for a few boxes of Melissa’s stuff and her cold waterbed. I am no longer young, but am my current age; I am crying. Standing on the side of the bed by the door, I opened my bag that was sitting on top of her bed and start stuffing items into it. I desperately want to leave the house and get away from my father. I undress to put on some cleaner clothes.
While I am naked, my father pounds on the door. Now standing by the side of the bed by the wall and looking at the door, I grab a sheet to cover myself and then yell, "I'm naked!" The knocking stops and I relax a bit. But then he opens the door and comes in despite my warning. I think that I should have locked the door (which is odd because that door has never had a lock).
He decides that 'we need to talk about this' and is determined to not leave until it is 'all straightened out.' I yell at him to leave my room and let me finish getting dressed. I feel very vulnerable and scared of what he is going to do to me. He steps toward me looking at the sheet I am holding over me.
I yell for my mom to come help. I have to yell loudly so she can hear me: she is downstairs. She comes upstairs and stands between my dad and me, not taking her eyes off of him. She says nothing and he leaves the room.
I am crying uncontrollably; all I want is for B to come take me away from there.
Now dressed, my mom and I walk into the upstairs entryway. The upstairs now looks completely finished: as it is today. My dad is standing by the door with his arms crossed: he is not going to let me leave without interacting with him. My mom glares at him and he goes downstairs.
B drives into the parking lot and I run to meet him. I give him a big and long hug. We get into the car and drive out of the parking lot. Part way down the road we are riding a snow machine and I am driving. B instructs me to drive into the ditch and up a small embankment in order to miss something on the road that we shouldn’t drive over. He then wants me to jerk the handlebars in the opposite direction than the one we want to go. His instructions don’t make any sense to me, but I try it.
This scene replays with different outcomes. My mind is trying to figure out what would happen if I were to actually do what B instructed. I wake up before my mind can come to a conclusion.
I stood in the doorway of an invisible elevator at the top of a very tall hotel. My logical mind kept telling me that it was made of glass. The attendant tried to prompt me to step forward onto the invisible platform he was standing on. I wouldn’t move from the doorway.
I was at a carnival or amusement park with my cousin Misti. We walked through booths of games and came to the section of the park with all the rides.
We were up on a hill and I could see a giant water ride that I desperately wanted to go on. I had a vague memory of being on this particular ride (I know I have dreamt of it a few times). But the ride was shut down for an indefinite period.
We got onto another ride. While the ride was stopped with us at the very top, I dropped my hardback book. I watched in slow motion as it fell, opening and hitting pieces of the ride every few seconds. I was amazed that the book was not getting tore up from the fall. Just before it hit the ground safe it hit one last gear; this last hit tore many of its pages out as well as separating the back cover from what was left.
I was sad that my book was ruined.
I stepped forward to hug a man who was not B. He was skinnier and a little bit taller than B but about the same age. It was a full-body hug. At the moment of contact, I felt a wave of perfect contentment and happiness wash over me. After the hug, I just stared at him, almost needing to catch my breath.
I was walking down the hallway of my old church. The people were acting very odd; I couldn’t tell what was exactly different, but that there was a difference was obvious. I walked into my mother’s Sunday school room, and all the children in it were being extremely well behaved. I was very concerned and left through the building’s side door.
I walked through a small, run down neighborhood looking for a specific house. The only thing I knew about it was that it was white with red trim. I was pretty certain that it was in this neighborhood and on this specific cul-de-sac. In the middle of the cul-de-sac was an empty foundation; the house that once stood atop it was torn down a few weeks prior.
Finally deciding that the house I needed to find was the one that had been torn down, I walked by a white house with black trim. I had seen this house before, however this time I was close enough to notice that the black paint was quite wet.
There was a man in his mid twenties standing by one of the windows. On the window ledge he was lining up small roses. He was mentally impaired to some degree and spoke kind of slowly. I asked him if the house had just been painted. He told me it had been. I then asked him if the house had been red. He said that it was.
Standing beside him, I felt that the house had been repainted to fool me. I needed whatever was inside that house, and someone was trying to keep me out. I felt angry and frustrated.
The man at the window asked me if his lined up roses made me want to steal a car. I said, “No, but talking to you sure makes me want to steal a car.” He turned to me and grabbed my breasts. It felt wonderful.
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