I pulled my car into a parking lot late at night. The front tires of my car were dangerously close to the edge of a cliff.
I started to get out of the car when the edge gave way and the tires fell over the edge. I knew that if I got back into the car it would continue to fall from my extra weight, so I picked up the front end a bit and bound the car back away from the edge.
Inside was a laboratory that opened up over the deep ocean. We had placed strong and expensive machinery at the bottom of the ocean and were monitoring them. One large piece of machinery had just been moved when I arrived—a shark had pulled it over to the edge of the cliff and pushed it off.
There was one more piece of machinery, shaped with a large round disk on one end and a long piece connecting it to a smaller cube at the other. I chased the shark that carried the second piece of machinery and managed to grab hold of it before it tumbled over the cliff.
I wasn’t able to hold onto it and it slipped from my fingers. Back on the walkway, my mom was looking through our database for one of the kid’s parents’ phone number. We couldn’t find it.
Then I was in my parents’ home. John and Heidi came in after me and Melissa and Carrie followed them: they had all driven down to Homer together. Heidi went on and on about how wonderful Carrie was and told John that Carrie had made their bed for them.
She told Carrie that Heidi would do something tremendous for her, and Carrie seemed embarrassed about all the fuss. I was jealous that Carrie and Melissa were focused so much on John and Heidi and barely said hi to me.
They left to go see their bed and B and I went for a walk through town. At one street corner he asked me if I remembered a specific incident back before we got married; I did remember it and was surprised he had remembered it.
We headed to a party. Inside there was a main check-in type counter with hard joke-y male thongs hanging below it and plastic toys on top that resembled genitals and hair. I didn’t get a good look at them but knew they were supposed to gross people out.
I was carrying a giant black thong in my left hand and swung it around when I walked by the desk, knocking a bunch of them onto the floor. I told the guys behind the counter that I had my own thong, thankyouverymuch, then became self-conscious of its size and wondered if the guys noticed it was quiet large.
B and I walked down a trailer hallway and I needed to use the bathroom. There was no handle on my side of the door, so he helped close it from the hallway and I locked it with a tiny slide latch.
I sat down and was about to empty my bowels when the door and wall shook. The wall was not made of wood, but of a heavy canvas and so it moved quite a bit.
I thought B was playing so I yelled for him to cut it out. I could see the shoes through a little gap under the wall and they did not belong to B. The man in the hallway dropped to the floor and stuck his head under the wall.
I jumped up and, with my back towards the intruder, pulled up my underwear and pants, but I was still naked from the waist up. I turned around with my arms over my breasts and saw that the man was Bruce.
I yelled at him to get out, but he couldn’t undo the door lock. I unlocked the door with my left hand, my right still covering myself, and he stood in the hallway muttering.
B walked by with a cigarette in his mouth, freshly lit. I was shocked that he was smoking, but the intruder needed to be taken care of first. I told B what had happened and that I was quite upset, expecting him to become upset that his friend had barged in on his naked wife in the bathroom.
He blew smoke into the hall and walked away muttering about how he was “going to do something” about it. I was shocked and hurt that he was taking it so lightly and wasn’t going to do something right then to uphold my honor.
I sat at the dinner table with my family and Kelli’s family. Kelli had cooked for us a meal we had never before eaten. The three Lost Boys kept trying to provoke me to be mean to Kelli about her food, but I wouldn’t give in. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
Marty sat on my left and dad on the end at my right. They were each holding their homework for the weekend: a steel baking pan. They had to check it and make sure it was mechanically sound. More specifically, they were supposed to determine if the battery was still good. If it wasn’t, then they needed to replace its battery.
I helped Marty pull his out of the pan: it was a large jello brick. I held it while he inspected its surface—uneven and worn around the edges— then determined it needed a new battery. I wondered which part of the jello was the battery.
A small dog was wrestling with a rat on the floor. They rolled over and over together, snarling and biting at each other. The rat was very big, and the dog only slightly larger. The rat got out of the dog’s jaws and turned into a huge spider that jumped for me.
The dog jumped and grabbed the spider that turned back into a rat. They struggled and rolled some more and then the rat got free, turning back into a large, foot-long spider. It turned for me and jumped onto the bed. I ducked under the covers and held my breath.
I stood at a McDonald’s ordering counter and asked for a refill on my soda. I knew that I would drink all of the soda before I stepped away from the counter because the cup was so small. I had left my bag of french fries at my table and asked for a refill of those too. I knew that they don’t refill fries, but the worker refilled both for me.
I sat in the passenger seat of our car while B drove. We were trying to find a building, but were driving back a different way than we had come. I asked B if he could find it this way, and he thought he could.
We came into a clearing and there it was: a small church and a log cabin going up beside it. Inside the church everyone sat around talking having just finished lunch.
There was a big production of a newly engaged couple: they came from a back room holding hands to be ‘presented’ to the church body. Everyone clapped and grinned ear to ear with happiness.
Afterwards, the women went into the kitchen to clean up and I followed. I talked with the girl and she was so excited about the engagement. I asked what her new last name would be and she didn’t know. “How can you not know his last name?” I asked. She didn’t know it, but wasn’t going to let that stop her or ruin her happy day.
I was in a college dorm room; the boys that were there left to go to an amusement park to ride the rides. I was packing my suitcase when the roommate who hated me came into the room and asked what I was doing. I told her I was miscarrying a baby and had to go.
She started a video game and I told her that it was basically a car rave game like all the other car race games available. I was in one of the cars sitting at the starting line.
Just beyond the start line I could see an enormous canyon that we would have to jump. The light went green and every car jumped, but not far enough. We fell to the bottom of the canyon and had to go the long route.
On our second start I managed to jump my car onto rocks floating on my right and hop across the canyon. In a cave on the other side was a mechanical old woman holding a book. The woman spoke to you if you said the right words, the ones bolded in the book.
I sang a song that was written in the book. My roommate and my mother sang with me, and it was beautiful but the old woman remained silent.
I was at a marketplace that resembled a street fair. There were rows and rows of canvas shoes, wooden clogs, silk, bohemian-style dress, and beaded tops.
My entire high school class was there. Briar, Nadia and I told a teacher that we were all going to the same college and we all went to the same high school. The teacher went with Poppy and Carla to try on a sari.
I was making out with B on my parents’ basement couch. I was lying on top of him and could feel his erection. We were both under a blanket; I got up and removed all of my clothes.
I went into the bathroom to wipe my vagina and remove all traces of my blood, knowing that he wouldn’t want to go any further if he know I were still bleeding.
I crawled back under the blanked naked, knowing he loved feeling my skin pressed on top of his. Straddling him, I pulled one pillow from under his head (he had two) to get him in a better position. His head was too low, so I gave him another pillow.
I placed my knees over his shoulders and moved to lower myself over his face. I became more aroused the closer my clitoris got to his mouth. When he realized what I was doing, he turned his head to his right and said, “No.” He told me that he didn’t like it when I had an orgasm.
I got off of him and walked to my room, mumbling bewilderedly, “He doesn’t like me orgasming.” He called me back to him but I closed the door.
B and I were visiting the Church of Christ in Wasilla. On our way inside I noticed two toilets sitting on top of stumps in the yard behind the church building. There were no walls around them.
Everyone moved around a lot during the service, but not in a dancing sort of way. It was more like everyone randomly changed pews. Everyone loved having us there visiting with my parents.
A woman up front held a bell like a microphone and invited B and I up front. As we stood up B bolted out the back door, leaving me standing there alone. I went up front without him, angry that he had weaseled out of this uncomfortable situation.
She prayed over me for a very long time while 80s music played in the background. I sank to my knees in front of her and raised my arms hoping that it would all be over soon. Everyone was dismissed to go to Sunday School and I saw a few women sitting on the commodes out back.
My hair was very pretty and curly. I followed my parents home. In the downstairs bathroom I saw a set of lights hanging over the sink that haven’t worked in years. There was a lot of stuff in that bathroom that hadn’t been used in years.
I grabbed a screwdriver and took down the broken lights, ripping them from the wall when it wouldn’t come off. I took all of the old stuff down.
I was in an airplane flying to a large city - New York, maybe. We flew over a lot of water before finally landing and found out that the entire country had flooded, but this one city had been spared. The city was so large that one girl who live in the center of the city didn’t know that the country had flooded.
A bunch of long tables had been set up for the airplane passengers to eat dinner at the airport. I came to a nearly full table and saw an empty seat next to Ryan Derry and one across from Ryan right next to Bryce.
I decided I wanted to sit across from Ryan, but what I really wanted was to sit next to Bryce. When I got there the seat had been taken, so I went back to the other side of the table, but that seat had also been taken.
I came to a woman’s apartment and she asked me to babysit her small boy because she and her friends were going out. I agreed, and his mom laid out the outfit he needed to wear to the doctor’s appointment.
I went to help him put it on when I noticed it was a frilly dress and quite inappropriate for him to wear. I found a pantsuit laying on the floor for him to wear instead.
At the doctor’s office, I am there for my physical checkup. I sat in a chair in the middle of the room while the doctor worked around me. He set up a spray nozzle so that it could spray fluid into my right ear, then hooked it directly to my ear so that it wouldn’t move.
He rubbed my right arm, seeing if it was okay. I told him that I recently had blood drawn and we could skip that part. He looked into my eyes and my nose while still rubbing my arm. I wondered if he was flirting with me.
A friend was sitting on the counter behind me and off to my right watching the checkup. She then moved to my left and stepped forward where I could see her.
The doctor wrapped a six inch wide strip of brown paper around my head to further secure the fluid spraying in my ear. The paper band was too big and fell off. He showed my friend how to cut the slits in the paper so that it would stay on right. The second band he cut was too short and wouldn’t wrap completely around my head.
I was sharing a bedroom with Melissa and we both got new pets. I had a pet bear (in the dream I could remember dreaming this before). The black bear was a cub-sized fully grown adult. He slept on my bed with me.
When I woke in the morning, I saw the clock read 8:15. Melissa got out of her bed across the room and sleepily walked towards the night stand.
I told her what time it was, but she was too sleepy to comprehend. I shook her shoulder and said loudly, “Eight fifteen. We are late.” We dressed very quickly. She grabbed her backpack and headed out of the room and downstairs to the lobby.
I needed to do something with my bear otherwise he would tear up our room while we were gone; he had done so before. I emptied a large cardboard box (which took a while) and placed him in it. It was just tall enough that he couldn’t jump out.
Out in the stairwell, Melissa told me to hurry up because the bus was there. I bent down to grab my backpack and my Bible, not having enough time to put my Bible into my backpack, and went out the door.
Melissa was standing behind a wall so that the bus driver couldn’t see her. She told me that the bus had almost left at one point, but then it had come back. I asked why she didn’t go out and tell him to wait. She told me that she didn’t feel comfortable with the other person waiting for the bus.
As we walked through the double glass doors, the bus - a short yellow school bus - drive away. It was still dark outside. I ran after the bus waving my hands, knowing that the driver would see me. He stopped the bus on the other side of the parking lot and got out to walk toward us.
He asked where we had been waiting and I apologized for running late. We climbed up the stairs and were the only ones on the bus. I thanked him for waiting for us.
I had painted my toenails a vibrant maroon. When putting the finishing touches on my nails, I noticed that two of my smaller nails were extremely long. Apparently I had forgotten to clip those when I clipped the rest of the nails. I couldn’t decide whether to start completely over or leave them and hope no one noticed.
I sat in a staff meeting discussing what to do with a large mound of manure. The boss said that he lined up a volunteer to haul it away for us, but another staff member said that would be a little drastic: she could use most of it in her garden. I thought that was a great idea and wanted some for my small flower boxes.
I stood over the mound, shoveling it into small cardboard boxes with a tiny shovel. There were large shading trees around me. Because my shovel was so small, it was taking a very long time to fill one box. A man came to help me, and I stepped away for a break.
Sitting on the left of my father, I shoved my fork into his thigh. he flinched from the pain, and I removed my hand from the fork. He told me to keep going.
I shoved the fork in further at an angle and ripped out a chunk of his muscle. I pierced his skin again and then removed the fork tines. He said that if we were going to finish this, it needed to be now, but make it quick. The time for this was slipping away.
I was on a long walking journey with a large group of people. Melissa and I were lying in the shade of a stone wall resting from the bright sun when a male member of our group came around the corner of the wall with a weapon and laid on me.
He said that he won’t hurt us, but I have to let him see my breast. Crying, I refused. He moved to hurt me, so I lifted my shirt and exposed most of my right breast. He said that wasn’t quite far enough, so I lifted my shirt the rest of the way.
He kissed and caressed my right breast while I looked to my left, towards the wall and away from Melissa. I felt aroused a little bit, and then ashamed for feeling aroused.
After he left, I ran up to my mom and whispered in her ear, “He just raped me,” then corrected myself and told her that he didn’t really rape me, but he did molest me. And in front of Melissa, no less. I didn’t feel safe with him in our group.
I had a child who was 3 or 4 years old. He was in danger, but I couldn’t do anything to save him. B tried, but couldn’t do anything either.
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